By
S c-k
After my father was dead for three years, he
came to mother’s house.
He is such an ordinary guy with no
distinguished traits what so ever. But my mother was only 60-year old and
needed a company for the coming years. What she was looking for was just a man
of simplicity with nice temperament. As matter of fact, he fits that qualification
perfectly, a humble and honest nice person.
When he met my mother at the first time, he
was a little embarrassed because he felt so disadvantaged in comparison of my
mother. He was living in a small apartment with modest savings as a retired
factory worker. Not long ago, he had to pay for his only son’s wedding and even
give some financial help.
My mother agreed to see him only because
she did not want to let her friend as a go-between lose “face”. Then they met.
She was impressed by his cooking skill. He said to my mother: “Mrs. Lee, I know
you are better off and not in need of anything. I have no gift presentable.
Since we are destined to come across each other, I like to cook a humble meal.
Would you stay and have lunch with me?”
Sensed of his sincerity, mother agreed to
take the offer. Then, he fixed a four-dish and one soup meal. Mother enjoyed it
so much and could hardly put down her chopsticks, especially that one dish,
minced pork soup in a pumpkin.
At the time of saying goodbye, he said to
my mother: “Please, whenever you feel like to, just come to have a meal with
me. I am not rich, but at least I can afford to cook that pumpkin dish for you
every time.”
Thereafter, mother met several potential
candidates. They were all more qualified in material sense, but she chose him toward
the end. One particular reason is that she felt like to be taken care of,
instead of taking care of others all her life. Thus, he moved in to our house.
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That day mother with him and his son’s
family of three by my invitation all went to having a banquet at one of five-star
restaurants in town. It was arranged out of my vanity to show off our
well-to-do. But my vanity did not last long. When walking out of the
restaurant, he whispered to me: ”We are all one family now, so in the future if
you like to invite me to having a meal, please choose any food shops down the
street, where I can enjoy the food without worrying about how much money you
spend.”
It hurt a little. I felt like I was playing
trick with him and treated him like a child by giving him a lot of candies.
He took care of my mother very well. Every
time she saw me, she always complained to me with big smile that she needed
losing weight. I remember that when father was still alive, every time I came
home she would complain to me how boring and tedious father was along with some
bad habits.
The dishes he prepared were all delicious.
After a few meals, one time at the table I said to my wife: ”Next time when
Uncle Tu does the cooking, you should learn a few tips from him.” My wife did
not appreciate what I said and was not very happy.
He came to the rescue to ease the
embarrassment by saying: “Hay! I wasn’t good on many things. Cooking is my
hobby which I can claim I am doing okay. You all are doing great on your
professions, no need to learn anything from me.” He continued: “whenever you
are craving for the dishes, just come back home. I love to cook for you. As a
cook, one thing I worry the most is nobody to show up and enjoy the meal.”
After the dinner, he put some left overs
into doggie bag for us to take home. He took me aside and whispered: “Please
don’t brag about my cooking anymore. As an old man, it is embarrassing not to
have anything else to be proud of.”
On the way home, I repeated what he said earlier
to my wife. She replied: “He is right. He acts as a humble person and likes to
serve other people as if he was born for it. Mom is very lucky to find a
company like him. At the old age, she is now treated as if a wealthy young lady
who had servants at her command.”
I was driving and could only see her with
my peripheral vision. I could sense somewhat contempt expression on her face,
but there was no point to explain anything on his behalf. After all he is an
“outsider” so to speak.
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At the day we moved in our new house, mom
and he came to do the rituals asking
God’s blessing. He methodically followed
old tradition to go through the procedures. He took care of everything
including cooking for the “move-in” celebration party. But at the lunch table,
there was no where we could find him. He simply disappeared, even the cell
phone was shut down. By the time guests left, he showed up shortly. He started
the cleaning and put left overs into boxes.
Mom felt sorry for him and tried to stop
him to collect the food. He shouldn’t treat himself as a servant. He said it
gently: “I’ll cook something for tonight’s dinner. Left overs are for me.”
” I appreciate the way you treat me. You
are so good and nice, but sometimes it makes me feel so sorry for you.” Mother
replied.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I would feel
uncomfortable if we are wasteful. Su-zan works so hard and it is not easy to
earn money these days. We should save whatever we can, so less burden on him.”
Mother repeated the words to me afterwards.
She was for a long time moved by his kindness and told me on the phone how she
appreciated his tender care and love. I had mixed feelings at the time, partly
happy for my mother and partly zealous.
At the same time, I felt guilty because of
it.
Gradually, we all get used to depend on him
for everything, thus, have good feeling about him. He does many chores quietly;
fixing faucet, cleaning windows, calling up air conditioner repairman,
escorting my son to and from school, etc.
One time my mother was ill and stayed in hospital
for a few days. He was there day and night without telling us until she was out
of the hospital.
But one day a robust person like him unexpected
fell ill, very seriously. It happened when he took my son to the kindergarten,
all of sudden he collapsed on the sidewalk. It was a stroke which caused half
his body paralyzed.
At the beginning, we were all in full of
hope that he would bounce back as healthy as before. He could serve us well
again without any complains. As time passed by, his
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illness showed no sign of improvement.
The usual smile left his face and he became
so fragile. My mother took care of him, he cried; so was when his son prepared
fruits for him; we took him out on a wheelchair, he cried; every time we
checked him in hospital and paid large sum of bills, he cried.
I understand what he was thinking. He only
wants to serve us, not the other way around.
So one day he cut his wrist very badly.
Only after two-hour emergency treatment, he came back alive. But he was in
grave despair and very exhausted spiritually.
To my surprise, his son was the first to
abandon him. Rarely he would show up to see his father. Later, it became worse
that he had not come for a long time. Every time we called him, he would say he
was out of town on business trip. Even more to my surprise, my mother mentioned
to me that she wanted the separation. She said;” I’m getting old, could not
take good care of him. Furthermore, I could not possibly burden you to care for
him.” It is cruel reality we all have to face.
So I decided to face it by myself, spare my
mother. I would talk to him and tell him the news. I went to the hospital and
told him, ”Uncle Tu, my mother is old and in poor health. You know she can’t
continue………..” He kept on nodding his head and covered his face with tears.
“We all have to go to work, so the best way
is when you’re ready to leave the hospital, you go back to your old apartment
and I will hire a care taker to live with you. Don’t worry about the money.
I’ll visit you often to make sure you are okay.”
He stopped crying and nodded his head
continuously. He murmured, “This is the best way, the best way! I can take care
of myself and live alone. You don’t have to hire a care taker. Please don’t………”
Out of the patient’s room into the hall
way, I could not hold back my tears anymore.
It was because of the relief or guilt and
sorrow, doesn’t it matter?
I went to an employment agency and hired a
governor. His salary was prepaid for the
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full year. Then, I sent workers to renovate
the apartment. I did as much as I could to sooth the shame feeling deep in my
heart and lessen mother’s guilt.
The day he checked out of hospital, I sent
company’s chauffeur to pick him up and settle him in the apartment. The driver
came back and told me: ”Uncle Tu wants to thank you for all you have done for
him. A son couldn’t do better, he said” I felt somewhat relieved and a bit better.
On that Chinese New Year’s eve, we had
dinner at a fancy restaurant, but nobody had a sense of celebration, all felt
somewhat loneliness. We missed him and his cooking of various delicious dishes
for the occasion. There is no happy New Year anymore.
On the way home, my son broke the silence,
“I miss Grandba so much!” My wife stared at him as if to tell him to shut up.
The boy continued to fuss about it. He shouted: “Why didn’t you bring Grandba
home? You are all bad people.” His mother gave him a big slap on the face.
That slap landed as if on my face. I felt
so terrible. The boy’s remark broke the dam of our conscience. It makes us feel
guilty again.
From the rearview mirror, I saw my mother’s
eyes full of tears. She tried very hard to hold it back. Such a sad New Year’s
Eve.
I remember last year when he was around
preparing for the occasion. One of the ingredients for a heartfelt sweet home
is someone can play a supporting role willingly. One loves to provide whatever
necessary to make home a harbor of serenity. A supporting role is fundamental.
Now I know that if that person is missing, the whole show will turn boring and
joyless.
I started wondering how Uncle Tu was doing.
Who would be with him? Would he miss us? Would he suffer sorrow and loneliness
due to our heartless act?
Immediately after firecrackers and initial
celebration, I drove to his place. He staggered to get the door open. When he
saw me, he smiled and at the same time his eyes were full of tears.
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Enter the lifeless room, I could not hold
it back and started crying. I picked up the phone and called his son by giving
him a hell. Then, I calmed down to make dumplings for the old man.
The governor went back to his home town for
the New Year holidays. So Uncle Tu had to do everything by himself and went
through the holidays quietly without company. At this moment, I couldn’t help
but feel contempt toward my mother.
Hot dumplings brought some warm feeling
into the house. He started to swallow the dumplings one by one along with his
tear drops. I found a bottle of wine I gave to him before. I filled up two
glasses and drank one before I handed the other to him. After a couple of
drinks, I said to him: “Uncle Tu, don’t blame this on me. You know I am in a
bind. I have to deal with two generations, it isn’t easy.” He kept nodding his
head, and murmured that I was better than his own son beyond any doubts.
Toward the morning of New Year Day, I
walked out his apartment enjoying the winter chill. I left my car there, walked
on the empty street heading home. My cell phone rang and it was my wife: “Where
are you?” Being mad, I shouted: “In an old and lonely person’s home.”
What kind of people are we? When he was
able and well, we used him as a servant, but when he suffered grave illness, we
discarded him like a piece of broken utensil. Where is our conscience?
Sometimes we donate to some charities in terms of public good. It is all
hypocritical and deserves no praise.
Standing at corner of the dark street, I
bitterly reproached myself for my merciless behavior. Lasting for a while, I
was tired. But I went back to his apartment and carried him on my back rushing
out of the door. He was stunned and shouted: “What are you doing?” “Going home”
I shouted back.
Indeed, he was back “home”.
The happiest guy was my son. Showing
directly his feeling, he ran over and hugged the old man again and again. Later
on, the boy kept asking how soon Grandba would cook sweet and sour fish, or
fried cookies, and do an animated figure with flours. My wife pulled me aside
to complain: “Are you out of your mind? Why did you bring him home while his
own son would not touch him?” This time I stayed calm and said to
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her: “How his son behaves, that’s his
problem. That is not the reason we should abandon him. I can’t ask you treat
him as if your father, but if you love me, care what I think, then treat him as
one of us. In my mind he is a relative, one of the family members. It is not
hard to ignore him and push him out of the house, but that would be against my
conscience. All I want is to have a peace of mind, just simple like that.
I repeated the same words to my mother who
cried like a baby. She held my hand and said: “Son, you are such a grateful and
sensible person!” “Mom, a man can keep you company, care for you and be around
you, what is wrong with that?” I replied. “Don’t worry! Even if you are gone
before him, I will carry on with him. There will be no money problem based on
what I am making.” I continued.
Just a little while, there came my son. He
directly came to me, “Daddy! Please don’t send Grandba away again. I’ll take
care of him and will do the same when you are getting old.” I took my son in
with two arms thinking how lucky I was that I did not set a bad example as
being an ungrateful and heartless person before it was too late.
“Grandba is for us to care and love, not
like a piece of furniture to throw away, isn’t it.” My son smiled and clapped
his hands. He was happy for sure.
The old man gradually settled down. He did
whatever he could moving around in that wheelchair. And I was more demanding
and picky. “Uncle Tu, this suite doesn’t look good on you. It can’t match my
mother’s pretty dress.” Or “You haven’t mop the floor
for a few days. Are you getting tired or
just lazy?”
I don’t treat him as an elder person
anymore. I always joke around about him. He likes the way being treated. We are
one family now.
One day, he called me into his room. He
picked up a bank book from the underneath of the mattress and handed it to me.
“Please take the money. I know you spent a lot of money on my medical bills.
This won’t be enough, but it is what I can contribute.
Furthermore, it doesn’t mean you have to
care for me the rest of my life.” He said.
“Don’t say anything more! I am taking it.”
I answered. He took a deep breath and showed such a relief.
Taking the bank book, I went to see his son
and handed over it to him. I told him the
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passwords also. “Your dad wants to give it
to you. He knows that you are still struggling financially. This may help a
little. I just hope that once a while you should pay him a visit. You know one
day when you like to see him, it might be too late! By that time you could only
see him in your dream and be regret about it. One thing I want to tell you that
you don’t have to worry about the money. I’ll take care of him until the end.
It is my duty from now on.”
Never, I mention what happened to the money.
It makes him feel better.
I remember one day his son took wife and
boy to visit him. He did not complain or anything else. However, between them
there was aloofness, I detected. That to me, it meant somewhat comfort and warm
feeling. He and I are not blood related, but so what. We can make fun on each
other and be frank about anything. It is all because we care and become close
to each other. That is human nature which is beyond any measurement.
From that on, all of us three would come
home every weekend regardless bad weather or not. What was waiting for us is always
a table of delicious dishes. He could do the cooking again at a slower pace. It
is a miracle to many people, but I know behind it mother was an important
factor. They are happy and so do we.
His “grandson” is more attentive to him
than I do. When I leave him alone to do daily chores because I believe it is
the best way to recover from the stroke, the boy always
gives a hand when needed. They share their
secrets and way to communicate. They love each other in their own world
blocking interference from outside. I couldn’t be happier for it.
As to the old couple, they are more friends
than anything else. They talk, share their affection deep in the heart, stick
together everywhere. With his love and care, mother becomes younger and
energetic. She becomes much more charming as if she were another person.
Eventually, he is recovering and can move
around freely. Like used to be, he is playing that supporting role again, very
low key but essential. Where ever needed, he is there. I purposely ask him to do
heavy chores sometimes, such as to escort mother to shopping, take a long walk
to the park and even short tours. I know this is good for his full recuperation
and keeping young.
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Mother is very lucky to have him as
partner. Our family needs him to maintain a home sweet home.
Translated by Larry
Chang
張光華
08/12/2014
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